Zarina Zabrisky

RED GREEN BLACK

it moves towards me, fast. red. hot. i know when it hits, it will hurt. burn. i should run away but i can't. i am in a circle with tall fence and no gate.

red calls. my blood calls me, pulls me to it. my chest goes boom boom and so do my legs. i fly towards it. it wiggles, and it is a man--it smells a man, sweat and musk of a man. women smell like milk and grass. mother smelled like milk and grass. soft.

it is now jumping to the side, the insect with red hurt behind. and i plunge, i roar--i hear noise out there where all the human insects gather. they roar, too. their roar booms in my ears. booms faster.

the man jumps, a red cricket. in the field, i saw green crickets, green like grass. green grass smells good. like mother. it feels good on my teeth. it crunches and makes me happy. it is quiet in the field, just bees buzz and the wind blows.

no grass here, no green. just the red moving sideways, towards me, away from me. the man-cricket runs to me and stabs a stick into me. pain red. i roar. humans roar back. the man-cricket jumps away.

then back, stabs again. and again. everything inside me pain red. my blood wet on me, smells salty and raw. smells pain. stab.

dust in my eyes, and tears, and pain. i want to go back to grass, feel flowers on my lips, sweet. the man-cricket does not know how flowers sweet. i do not want to die. i will not die. i will kill the man-cricket.

i run after him, i am now fast, pain makes me fast, faster than him, faster than the wind in the field, faster than swallows diving into grass before rain. i chase the man to the fence. i hit him with my horns, stab him through, the way he stabs me. only man-cricket has no thickness, horns go through. man-cricket flimsy. i stab again. men in the pit roar. they always roar.  

                                                         the man-cricket is hurt. his face white like flowers. he now has my pain. red on him, all over, he drops the red from his hands. i stab again and raise him on my horns, his red mixing with mine. he is light. i run and run, circle after circle, roar after roar and then i see a black shiny stick and hear crack!-- and white light spits hot bee and it flies to my eyes, 

               then all goes black and no more.